Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Using Simple Sentences to Intensify the In-Between

I was thinking on something: Words

In writing, it doesn't take a genius to understand that without them, writing doesn't exist.

But I think what most new authors might forget (or forget to think about, more appropriately) is that words are meant as incredible tools for eliciting incredible emotions; they are the drawing tools for creating the visual sketches in the minds of the readers. They’re not just necessary in terms of getting us from point A to point B, but words are made for those grandiose moments that are meant to widen the eyes of the audience.

What every author knows (or should know, which sadly, really isn’t always the case)  is that the emotion eliciting words are great for defining the highs and lows of our characters’ situations, where plot twists turn and climaxes climb, and all of the hills and valleys that fall in-between; that certain words are meant to let the reader know what our characters are thinking, feeling. But I was curious, so I wondered if authors ever think about how using that perfect word in a simple sentence, the sort of sentence an author might concede as a throwaway, can actually be used to induce an amazing reaction in their readers as well.

See, many sentences are just lines that draw us to the bigger points of the story by either setting us up or making us wonder, "What's gonna happen next?" It's the end result we're interested in, not the sentences that get us there—at least most of the time. Most of the term or phrase lineages that get us to where we need to be as readers can often be changed or removed outright.

But I realized: Mere, simple sentences ought not to be discarded so lightly. Great authors know (and by "great" I don't mean successful, celebrated authors, I mean authors who are confident—who trust themselves) that they can use valuable words in these casual sentences to evoke a reaction, because evoking reactions are what make novels great!

For example, I was re-editing a few pages the other day and it dawned on me to make a modest change. I'd like to use the following as an example.

My original sentence, as stated by my female protagonist, read like this: [He] still had every intention of punishing and hanging him.

Meh...that was ok. It made my point. But then it occurred to me...what if I tried it like this:

[He] still had every intention of punishing him and having his neck broke.

You don't see it? Ok, in case you don't, I'll point it out. Simply saying "punishing him and hanging him" is uninspired and ordinary. But by saying "punishing him and having his neck broke" provokes a reaction, a sentiment. His neck broke? Ouch!! It's a fierce sort of phrasing. It's intense.

[Side note: This also worked well because the arc of my heroine is to go from a haughty, eastern, New York heiress to a common desert-dweller. So in writing her dialogue this way it only aided in moving her character changes along as she adapts to her new life as a wanted outlaw]

So in thinking of this, my point is we have so many opportunities to make our readers understand the severity of thought or sensations of our characters, and not just when something eventful happens. We have the opportunity even when we, as authors, imagine it isn't called for. The trick is being a good enough writer to recognize when these common sentences can be dressed up to add to the story while you’re in between the major circumstances. You don’t go looking to enhance every plain sentence in your novel. Ever hear the phrase “Never use a long word where a short word will do”? George Orwell wasn’t just blowing smoke. The same sentiment applies here. Figure out the sentences that could use a little a fire, that’s all. The better you become as a writer, the easier it becomes to figure it out.

Using Simple Sentences to Intensify the In-Between

I was thinking on something: Words

In writing, it doesn't take a genius to understand that without them, writing doesn't exist.

But I think what most new authors might forget (or forget to think about, more appropriately) is that words are meant as incredible tools for eliciting incredible emotions; they are the drawing tools for creating the visual sketches in the minds of the readers. They’re not just necessary in terms of getting us from point A to point B, but words are made for those grandiose moments that are meant to widen the eyes of the audience.

What every author knows (or should know, which sadly, really isn’t always the case)  is that the emotion eliciting words are great for defining the highs and lows of our characters’ situations, where plot twists turn and climaxes climb, and all of the hills and valleys that fall in-between; that certain words are meant to let the reader know what our characters are thinking, feeling. But I was curious, so I wondered if authors ever think about how using that perfect word in a simple sentence, the sort of sentence an author might concede as a throwaway, can actually be used to induce an amazing reaction in their readers as well.

See, many sentences are just lines that draw us to the bigger points of the story by either setting us up or making us wonder, "What's gonna happen next?" It's the end result we're interested in, not the sentences that get us there—at least most of the time. Most of the term or phrase lineages that get us to where we need to be as readers can often be changed or removed outright.

But I realized: Mere, simple sentences ought not to be discarded so lightly. Great authors know (and by "great" I don't mean successful, celebrated authors, I mean authors who are confident—who trust themselves) that they can use valuable words in these casual sentences to evoke a reaction, because evoking reactions are what make novels great!

For example, I was re-editing a few pages the other day and it dawned on me to make a modest change. I'd like to use the following as an example.

My original sentence, as stated by my female protagonist, read like this: [He] still had every intention of punishing and hanging him.

Meh...that was ok. It made my point. But then it occurred to me...what if I tried it like this:

[He] still had every intention of punishing him and having his neck broke.

You don't see it? Ok, in case you don't, I'll point it out. Simply saying "punishing him and hanging him" is uninspired and ordinary. But by saying "punishing him and having his neck broke" provokes a reaction, a sentiment. His neck broke? Ouch!! It's a fierce sort of phrasing. It's intense.

[Side note: This also worked well because the arc of my heroine is to go from a haughty, eastern, New York heiress to a common desert-dweller. So in writing her dialogue this way it only aided in moving her character changes along as she adapts to her new life as a wanted outlaw]

So in thinking of this, my point is we have so many opportunities to make our readers understand the severity of thought or sensations of our characters, and not just when something eventful happens. We have the opportunity even when we, as authors, imagine it isn't called for. The trick is being a good enough writer to recognize when these common sentences can be dressed up to add to the story while you’re in between the major circumstances. You don’t go looking to enhance every plain sentence in your novel. Ever hear the phrase “Never use a long word where a short word will do”? George Orwell wasn’t just blowing smoke. The same sentiment applies here. Figure out the sentences that could use a little a fire, that’s all. The better you become as a writer, the easier it becomes to figure it out.