Writing Is A Lonely Endeavor

If you're serious about writing--if it's in your blood--then you're going to eventually sit your ass down and write. It's going to happen because it has to. If you're like me you'll spend many a time saying to yourself "I must get published before I die!" The thing about it, though, is it's lonely. You spend countless hours creating a brand new world in text and it's just you and your laptop (or just you and a pencil and paper if you're "that sort"). It helps if you've "fallen in love" with your characters, as I have, because it means that, even though they are figments of your imagination, they still constitute some semblance of a support system. But still, you will have nobody who is flesh and blood to talk to. People simply do not want to hear or talk about your writing, especially if you've never been published.

Firstly, people don't often take it seriously. Most people say they are going to write a book-there is an exorbitant amount of people who say this! And guess what…they never complete a novel. In fact, they never even get started on it. It’s practically a running joke. Secondly, nobody wants to hear about a book you’re working on that may never, ever see a bookstand or be downloaded. It’s boring for them and, apparently, a waste of their time. I think a major factor in this is, when one is working on a novel, it's not considered a real job, even though it's hard work, so why bother discussing it?

You might get lucky; you might have a friend who is willing to proofread your work and help guide you along by participating as your test audience. You might have a friend (or family member) who is completely supportive and will let you talk at length about the difficulties your having because difficulties abound when writing a book. But in most cases, be prepared to suffer your inner-turmoil all on your own.

But, let’s say for the sake of argument you’re not “that guy”, the guy who says he's going to write the great American novel and never does. You're actually going to sit down and write the hell out of a book! Well, you’re still in the running with "that guy" until something truly tangible has been achieved. So it’s just you and yourself, buddy. And even after you’ve gotten published (if you make it) people still don’t want to sit around talking about your book. But, you will have that added measure of respect, so, it’s not all bad.

Remember, not everyone can write a book! It’s impressive when someone actually accomplishes it. Writing is hard work on so many levels, but for the sake of this particular installment, it’s definitively difficult on your psyche. You’re basically living inside your head, thinking, dreaming about your story and your characters 24/7. You begin to lose touch with close friends, and even relatives because they cannot relate to you and will not even bother to try. Unfortunately, they don’t realize how detrimental it is for you if they don’t at least try and connect; they don't realize how much you need them to be there for you on your own--without your forcing them to listen. Nobody wants to talk to someone if they have to hold them hostage. Friends and family don't understand your difficulties; they take it personal when you become a loner, or in many cases become agitated. But in most cases this is because they don't bother checking in with you as they don't take your little "hobby" seriously. A good friend would make it a point to reach out to you. A simple, “How’s the book coming?” would suffice. Most times you won’t even get that. So there’s the hurt that accompanies the loneliness.

It’s true that people just don’t take it seriously enough to want to discuss it. They don’t buy into it no matter how much it means to you. If you’re lucky like me, you’ll have one person you can turn to who you can, at the very least, run ideas by, or ask to read an installment. My husband was there for me constantly in this regard. He has yet to read my novel (Hmph!), but he can tell you who my characters are and what their backstory is. He can tell you the plot, and he even visualizes in his head what certain characters look like.

Settle in for the long haul and try to hang on, because humans were not meant to be that secluded for that long. And get used to not discussing your book with anybody, but just having simple conversations with them about everyday things. You’ll need that as an exercise to stay sane, though you will probably lose it and go around the bend on occasion for a very short period of time. Say maybe an hour or two. But remember this: if you're serious about writing a book, you'll have to make that sacrifice. Don't let shitty friends dictate the achievement of a special accomplishment that most people don't even get to realize.